Here we go, another book, another cover! Only this time around it’s not ‘another book in the wall’. Before the reveal, I’ll share a little bit about the process that’s gone into getting here, especially for those who’ve been with me since the beginning.
The Long Road to Now
Over the years the Heroes & Demons series has gone through a few iterations. My first fumbled attempt as a newbie came in 2017 with Heroes & Demons, using the original KDP cover creator (I cringe – what the heck a gargoyle over Paris had to do with the story, I don’t know). Reworked for the sequel, Hope & Fury, using free stock images and a bit more finagling. Better, but still not what I always wanted.
OriginalHeroes & Demons (2nd Attempt)Hope & Fury
Then last year, as Book 3 Fire & Water was due to be released, a good friend – a fantastic graphic designer – stepped in (paid of course). Using a combination of his wizardry , and my symbolic vision, we produced a brand new look. The horseman trilogy was complete – but one thing led to another and then my friend was unable to commit to helping further (paid or not).
So, I was left with the indie author’s dilemma as Book 4 approached; three options before me:
pay upwards of £1000 for a professionally done book cover by a talented graphic artist
turn to the dark arts of AI to generate a technically proficient but obviously generated cover
roll up your sleeves and try to learn design for yourself
Well, to be completely clear, I’m not made of money (as many indie authors aren’t – and the snooty ‘spend money to make money’ brigade can clear off) and, when it comes to using generative AI for art of any kind other than as your own mood board, I’m not willing to compromise my morals.
Learning a whole new bunch of graphic design skills it was then! And, since trying to create my own version of the previous covers’ work and match it up to Book 4, I ended up having to go back and start from scratch with all of them. More than that I wanted to, to play and tinker and create in a whole new way seemed like a challenge but one I was ready for.
What Came Before…
First, Heroes & Demons. Deep blues combine with the alchemical symbol for water, beginning as we do with deep revelation.
Then, Hope & Fury. Less about revelation, and more about fracture. Soft dark greens of the marble wrap and the elemental symbol of Earth – combine to showcase war.
The last of the older books, Fire & Water leant heavily into duality. The alchemical symbol for fire the central focus, while burnished oranges of marble showed just how much the world was set on literal fire. And, as anyone who’s read it knows, that’s only half the story – the duality runs deeper than flames alone.
The Biggie – Sinners & Saints!
And here we go, the end (well, penultimate novel). Where everything changes. We finish our elemental motif with air. We keep the marble effect, only now leaning very much into the palette of dried blood. Wounds which linger, which stay with us, which scar. The cover for Sinners & Saints isn’t just a continuation of the theme, it’s fulfilment of a promise. That though the story will change, it’s still not over – nor will the sins of the past be forgotten.
Here’s the culmination of everything we’ve been working toward:
Let Me Know What You Think
There we go, let me know what you think either in the comments or via various socials! But remember, while I appreciate feedback, I also believe in respect. The internet is enough of a wild west that if you’re here for the trolling, keep scrolling. Otherwise, let me know what you think. And if it’s enough that you want to check out the book, it’s releasing 3rd July, 2026 – you can find all the details here.
A last little word before we head off this time around – although mainly this goes to my fellow independent authors out there in the world. You do you. Truly. Most of us do this with no one to hold our hands and tell us its going to be okay. Social media is a minefield of negativity, of put-downs, and somehow worse than all that – of deafening silence. You probably don’t have an endless coin-purse, an entire marketing department, and the endorsement of celebrities and influencers.
But what you do have, what we all have, is a story. You believed in it enough to write it. So take advice sure, but do the cover your way. Do the book your way. Share it with the world – and do so with an open heart. Someone out there will be drawn to it. Someone out there will love it. Someone out there will see you for it. So until you find them, be that person.
You wrote a story after all. And for each one of us, there’s many, many more who were too scared to. That in and of itself, gives it meaning.
It’s that time again—the last Friday of the month!
The newest “episode” (short story/novella) of my YA supernatural series ’til the End of the World is now available to read and download for free in its beta form. If you’re following this monthly serial, Episode 4 drops today with new twists, darker stakes, and a fresh “monster‑of‑the‑week” thread woven into the ongoing story. Whether you’re discovering the series for the first time or catching up on previous instalments, this is the perfect moment to dive back into a world of demonic danger and sinister secrets.
If you’d rather wait for the fully polished version with bonus features, the first collection is available to pre‑order in eBook now, with the paperback arriving on release day: 29th May, 2026.
Taking a cue from the early‑2000s classics it sits beside, a new threat comes to town. Sara finds herself stepping into danger, Mark and Amy struggle to keep a certain secret, and Ricky’s fear of destiny and violence comes with a cost. And the price paid for innocence is often paid in blood.
A small content note: while this is a YA series and never gratuitous, this episode does touch on heavier themes, including coercive behaviour and psychic manipulation, which may be sensitive for some readers. If that’s the case, please feel free to skip this one; next month’s episode will be perfectly accessible.
And as always, dear readers – peace and love, y’all.
Well, what a few months that’s been. We’re already a quarter of the way through 2026, and despite the world seeming determined to set itself on fire, we’re still here. And I’m still plodding away at my keyboard like a deranged monkey attempting to write Shakespeare. I only ever really liked Macbeth anyway. But there’s lots of updates to come this time around – so on with the show!
New Website: A completely refreshed website to help you the reader – check it out here!
New Newsletter: Monthly subscriber-exclusive newsletter (sign up here) starting as of April – releasing on the last day of the month
A Whole New Website
This is perhaps the one which has taken the most time of anything – including planning and writing nine novels and four novellas – so far. With blood, sweat and Jaffa Cakes – the sounds of arguing LA real estate agents going ignored in the background – I have redone the entire website. I have learnt new techniques – like blocks. And have cultivated an experience that should be a far better user experience for you, dear reader.
So go and check it out here – or click that big button over on the left hand side which says “Go to Homepage”. It’s worth it, honestly.
You’ll be able to navigate towards individual series pages – each one given the look and depth it needed. Explore Heroes & Demons (dark fantasy speculative fiction), sit with New Knights (myth-making urban fantasy), survive ‘til the End of the World (YA supernatural apocalypse) or roll-on with the Rest of the Rainbow (everything else). On each you’ll find more info than ever before, but tastefully done – with behind the scenes snippets, stories and easier navigation to individual book pages – where there’s plenty of extras such as soundtrack embeds, short excerpts and behind the story info for that little bit of something special. And of course, links to major marketplaces for eBooks and Paperbacks.
From the main page you can also navigate to an about the author section, expanded and revised and maybe a little nonsensical. A contact page and a newsletter sign up page are also there (yes, a newsletter!), but more on that below. And if you want to know where to start reading? A little section entitled “Where to Start” may help!
Seriously, it’s been a labour of love – giving the books and stories the space they deserve. And hopefully, you’ll find it easier to navigate through, even if most of the time you may just want to pop onto the blog instead – which is still here in pride of place.
So, the biggest change that’s coming and that I’ve been working on (besides the website) is my way of updating. So, big release announcements and things will still come through individual blog posts, along with the usual thematic essays, and other random things that if you’ve come here more than once you’re probably more than used to.
Beyond the blog (with posts roughly once a month, sometimes twice if a special occasion), subscribers will get a special monthly newsletter direct to their email. This will replace this kind of update post – but probably in a less randomly rambling way, and with subscriber exclusive snippets of backstory (wanna guess why dragons have tribal tattoos?), behind the scenes work, early access and other goodies (such as playlist snippets) that’ll change month on month.
It’ll all be very easily signposted, so even if you’re only wanting to follow along a particular series’ progress, you’ll be able to focus on the content you want – but can always nosey at the other bits if you fancy.
You can sign up here – or subscribe using the button on the left. No spam, no full inbox, just a couple of emails a month you can like, love or leave at your leisure. The newsletter will drop in your inbox on the last day of each month.
So, it looks like all I’ve been doing is website design. But of course, this is not so! I’ve been writing like a mad monk, full of crazy chaos. The first draft of Sinners & Saints (and also the first fourth book in an individual series I’ve ever written) and the penultimate of the Heroes & Demons series, is finally written in full. Rick, Avelin, Sandy and the rest are all back, and this time the Apocalypse has truly begun. The editing process has been ongoing, and somewhere underneath the feverish dreams of misplaced commas, it’s getting ready for release.
As such, I am looking for ARC readers – another thing I’m trying for the first time this year. So, if that’s your vibe, take a look at the series page here and maybe get in touch. Either through the contact form or get in touch on socials.
The eagle eyed amongst you may also have noticed that I’ve been subtly (ish) in the background been redesigning the first three book’s covers (Heroes & Demons, Hope & Fury and Fire & Water) in preparation for the Sinners & Saints cover reveal. Long story short, but with a previous cover designer no longer around, I am also adding graphic designing to my list of things to learn about at breakneck pace alongside website design, writing and editing. They’re all available now in their new form – and aside from having ‘nam style flashbacks to spine spacing and alignment – I gotta say I’m damn proud of them.
If the apocalypse comes, beep me – goes the iconic Sarah Michelle Gellar line. Well, my own YA series has kicked off the start of this year with Episodes I to III available in beta version to read from the ‘til the End of the World series page. I’m in it for the long haul with this one, a throwback to the early noughties YA series told through a series of short story/novellas in an episodic format. Somewhere between GCSEs, the birth of YouTube and fighting vampyrs, the series is for those who want to enjoy the apocalypse in a different way. For me as a writer, this is where it all began, tapping away as a teenager, finally brought to it’s own un-life.
Episode IV “All the Good Girls” is fully written and ready to be dropped this Friday (27th March 2026), while each episode after will be dropped on the last Friday of every month. Collections, entitled “Volumes” are being released twice a year, combining polished versions of the episodes with behind-the-scenes exclusive content just for you, the eBook or Paperback reader. The first of these, collecting Episodes I to V, is available to pre-order now, releasing on Friday 29th May 2026.
Dip in, dip out, binge a ‘box set’ – the choice is yours, but I’m really happy with how this is going on.
That’s a lot, so I’m gonna leave it there very shortly. I appreciate you reading this far or skipping down to the end to check I don’t end with some random sappy nonsense. Or check I do. Whatever floats, y’know?
Well, the first quarter of this year has gone by in a flurry, and I don’t think the next few are going to be much less. Beta episodes once a month, a short-story collection on 29th May and a new novel on July 3rd. Beyond that, writing continues and worlds continue to expand. The second half of 2026 will see the second collected volume, several more beta episodes released, and a new New Knights novel – Echo – in Late 2026.
And then, eyes are turning towards 2027. The tenth year of independent publishing. Surprises, new releases. Some endings and some new beginnings. It’s going to be a biggie, and I’ll share it with you all in due course.
Of course, if you happen to subscribe to the newsletter…who knows…could find out a little earlier. See what I did there? I’m told that’s calling to action.
’til the End of the World returns today! Yes, everyone, the British YA Supernatural short-story/novella series continues into it’s third story “Fallout”.
After the events of the two part opening stories, the world is changing. Mark, Ricky and now Sara are together preparing to fight the forces of evil – but aren’t exactly aligned on what that even means. Meanwhile, Calendar at large learns of the existence of the ancient cavern and the Alliance Stone – thinking it some old Celtic relic.
So, a school trip for Mark and Amy to help out at the dig site sounds like a good idea, right? Well, for Miss Drake it does. For Mark…who knows the supernatural powers in play, it sounds like a powder keg. One in which the fallout may be deadly.
Story 3, standing alone and yet continuing on storylines, will demonstrate more of what ’til the End of the World is. Not easy, not simple. A bit like growing up, eh?
Warning: Today is about trauma and awareness. Not to be glib, but if just the mention of that is upsetting, don’t read on. I’m not going to discuss specific traumas or graphic detail in any way – but I am going to talk about what a bastard it is – and isn’t. So consider yourself forewarned.
Trauma is a part of being alive. Perhaps some may say the price we pay for it. In a cold, cruel universe, I suppose there may be some truth in that. Perhaps trauma can be thought of less of the bad things that happen to us, and instead the forces and pressures that shape us into who we are. Oh dear, I think I’m a bad Rihanna record away from making an inspirational diamond metaphor.
They reflect, by the way, dear.
It seems to my humble mind that discussing ‘trauma’ has become far more common place. Growing up, we spoke of ‘baggage’ – the idea of an accumulated weight of experience. Like a family of five going to Alicante for two weeks, you tucked your rejections, your bullying, your emotional instability, and your grief, up next to your swimming trunks and sunscreen, and wheeled them behind you through duty free. Gets you a few dirty looks from Marget, as she gently caresses an oversized Toblerone, I tell you.
Now we say trauma. Same diff. It’s a universal and completely valid part of existence, and let me be clear – it does matter. It all matters. Doesn’t matter what, the loss of a love one or getting stood up for a date for the third time that week. We don’t need to sit like the characters in Jaws and compare scars. The one with the biggest one gets eaten anyway (Sorry, spoiler alert).
What matters and what makes it true, is that it sodding hurt, and in some way it shaped what came next. What is important, then, is how we define our relationship with it going forward – because that is within our control – and how we approach others from a place of awareness.
My approach to trauma, both in life and in my writing is this, it is like how I think of time. The future is water vapour in the air. Sometimes dense enough and obvious enough to be seen, but not always. Intangible, but there. It condenses, unrelenting, into the present. The state in which it can be seen and touched and felt, running through our fingers. The motion slows, but there is motion. Malleable, the liquid present fills the vessel of what is, moulding into a shape. As motion slows it freezes into the past. Like ice, or glass, it solidifies behind us in a new fixed shape. It wrenches itself around the trauma, becoming imperfections we can look back and see. Trauma becomes this, the pattern we can see, each bit affecting the next as we move through states.
This is perhaps the central point in my work that I repeatedly drive home – trauma accumulates. Many others reset, I don’t. My worlds and characters are forever changed by these events. Because I am. Because we are. So what do we do?
We cope.
For me, coping lies in the perspective – of comedy or tragedy. Was Romeo and Juliet a tragedy? Or a farce of two pimply teens missing each other’s DMs? Was Austin Powers a comedy? Or was it a one-man plus Liz Hurley crusade against a hard-working supervillain trying to provide for his grown up son, after years of estrangement?
Humour, both in the novels I write and in my own life, is not something so easily attributable to a pseudo-psychological defence mechanism. That explanation is too simplistic. It is a choice, a perspective made out of a conscious decision. To see each and every thing for the bizarre and surreal truth of it.
It is in laughing (while crying) in the crematorium, as over the tinny radio J-Lo dances the night away and Take That Relights their Fire with Lulu (true story, I shit you not). It is the choice, to turn and look back at the smoky, mucky glass of the past behind us, where that frozen history looks like a scream face, and doodle a couple of devil horns and a silly moustache.
In this way humour, even the darkest, blackest most brutal of humour, is not only a way to cope. It is a way to be able to live.
Hopefully you can see from this that I do not intend to belittle anyone’s experiences or minimise their pain. I seek to honour it, honestly and openly. To say it’s okay for laughter to go with loss, for pain to piece joy. They do not erase or diminish one another, they compliment. They, hand in hand with wandering steps and slow, through Eden make their solitary way.
And perhaps behind them, time freezes with their footsteps.
No plug or self promotion this time people, just hopefully an insight. I shared a little of the way I think, and maybe you do the same. I respect you, and I see you. And if you ever want to try my way for a bit, I can lend you a marker pen and we can go off doodling.
Rick Rawes Friday 27th February, 2026 Leeds, West Yorkshire
What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me, no mo’ – sorry, couldn’t help myself). It is a fundamental question of human existence, and not one that anyone really knows. As abstract a concept as disappointment, and as real as the wind. And I’m not about to go all religious here either and argue that ‘God is love’ or any such thing. Instead, in honour of Valentine’s Day – which really exists only as an excuse to love – I’m going to talk through some thoughts about love that I’ve discovered myself having, while on these journeys to other worlds.
Writing is itself an exercise in reflective exposure. You start with an idea that might sound cool – what if dragons were hot guys? As an example. Or, why does the Egyptian God Bastet never get any real acknowledgement in the world, when she’s a complete badass? As another example. Or even what happened if a sentient hamper took on killer alien wasps? Yes, that actually happened. I was like ten.
But then you begin the process of writing, of imagining and creating worlds in which people walk that were nothing but smoke in the ether until you gave them life. And then they do things, and they meet people, and they go on great and grand adventures.
Then you sit back, look at the worlds you’ve created and the stories you’ve told and you’ve realised what you have created reflects your inner truth. There are mirrors in what we write, the way we expose ourselves in the clothes we wear or the music we sing. The way we tell people who we are with gesture and spoken words, we do the same thing as writers. We say ‘this is me’, ugly and raw and beautiful like life itself.
When you reach that realisation as an author, it can be quite jarring. Illuminating, painful, messy and truthful all in one. What my writing has revealed I believe about love is darker than what I would have said in my idealistic youth, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
Love is pain. Love is imperfect. Love is action. Love is choice.
Love is Pain
This is probably the most obvious and literature-ly well documented thesis on love. Love is pain. Whether you’re discussing Kate Bush’s Victorian sister running around the frigid moors in her nightie with what for all intents and purposes is a poor-Twilight-fan’s Edward the abuser; or crying along with good ol’ Buff when boffing her boyfriend turns into brutal slaughter; love is pain.
This doesn’t mean that love automatically equals pain, I’m not advocating that all forms of love need to hurt for the sake of it – violence and abuse and love should not go hand in hand at all. Instead, love hurts simply because it does. Because it is vulnerability wrapped up in cotton wool and glass, being banged around in your satchel as you navigate the world.
Love will include loss. To love something or someone, means to care – and caring in an indifferent world means to run the risk of losing it. To lose a lover to a wandering eye or a rapidly cooling bed, to lose a friend to an argument or disagreement, to lose a family member to the rampant march of time. And in end? When you reach the finish line hand in hand with the ones you’ve chosen to love? Either you have to leave, go through death’s door first, or they do.
There is no escaping it, to love is to know one day it will be lost. And that hurts.
And, of course, it’s also painful when you open the fridge to discover they ate the last pudding cup without telling you. There’s that too.
Love is Imperfect
Regardless of what anyone says, love of any kind is not perfect. It supersedes the self, because love is in part a connection. And while we can influence others, we can never truly control them. They are perfectly able to not love us back. They are absolutely able to hurt us, while claiming to love. They have their own mind and beautiful, wonderful soul and make their own decisions which often can disregard you or your feelings.
And that’s okay.
After all, if love is something that hurts, it is going to be imperfect. It is going to be waking up in the morning to a grumpy sod, when all you’ve done is be yourself. It is going to be the person who doesn’t choose you or doesn’t love you in the same way. Love can be in isolation, unrequited. Just ask any young gay or queer person, who falls deeply in love with someone they know they can’t have. Not because that love is not real, but because it is a type of love that won’t be returned.
And that’s okay.
When love is placed up on a pedestal, as some grand thing which cannot be anything but pure – it is false. Love itself can and should be broken, it should reflect us. After all, how can love redeem us, or give meaning to our lives, if it does not reflect us back to ourselves? If it is not as flawed and messy and contradictory as we are? I’m asking not because I have the answer, but because it’s what I believe.
Love is Action
We discuss love often as a feeling, an emotion. Neuroscientists would tell you, however, that love is a hormone storm. A flood of neurotransmitters and other chemicals that overwhelm our system. Attraction, dopamine-driven hard and fast. Cortisol, drops in serotonin, a shifting maelstrom that yanks us towards someone, and leads to craving harder than any drug. This settles, down into a long-term bonding, a love settled and re-enforced by endorphins, oxytocin, vasopressin, which keeps us cemented with someone who makes us feel safe.
It’s amazing how that is both concrete and abstract. When we love, romantic or otherwise, we don’t stand there and think ‘Oooh, what a lovely bit of dopamine’ or ‘look at the endorphins on him’. I mean, most of us don’t, I may know a few fellow psychologists who are a different kettle of fish. So how do we know love’s presence?
Through action.
It is the holding of a hand through a scary medical procedure. It is the handing over of the last KitKat. It is the silence, rather than retort. And it is not always sacrifice or selfless. It is also in the inability to be there, to watch your heart break. It is in walking away, when hurt is all there is. It’s in the actions, small and large, grand sweeping gestures and soft touches that drive the connection. Without action, there is no motion, no change. Without motion there is no meaning – and you all know my thoughts on meaning.
Love is Choice
This is perhaps the most important one for me personally. Love is a force, as natural as the tides, which sweeps away all reason and leaves us a deeply fulfilled and broken shell. We are buffeted, repeatedly through our life, by the emotion and the action of love – chipping away at us. And we are well within our rights to walk away from it, or to sit down and refuse to move as love rolls over us. Because love ultimately is a decision.
Whatever else you can say about it, and whatever your views on time and destiny, we have to treat our lives with the illusion of free will. We have to accept that to take any kind of responsibility or enjoyment in our life, that we must have agency over it. Love is the expression of that agency made manifest, choice and meaning given an emotional and neurological form.
You may not make a conscious decision to choose to react chemically in the way you do. A parent bonded with a child is hormonal, an attraction instantaneous like a lightning strike, a heartbeat driven by fluttering desperate need. But you do choose the next step. The every day.
Love is a choice you make every day. On the good days, when the world seems bright and beautiful. When sunshine and birds sing. On your wedding day, on every date night, in the times you laugh and think you’re the luckiest person in the world. You choose to enjoy these moments, to be present and to remember them. And the others.
You choose to stay when things get hard. You choose to love when crying and heartbroken on the bathroom floor. You choose to let go when it destroys you both. You choose to defend someone when you know they are wrong. You choose to act or not act on desire as appropriate. You choose to be there at the end.
And because you choose that, it is meaning. Sweet, and true, and perhaps the only real meaning there is.
Don’t Hurt Me, No Mo’
I get this is a bit of a departure and not exactly the puppy dogs and rainbows (or should I say mildly sarcastic and irreverent rants) that I usually do. I guess it’s because for me, I’ve realised love is less frivolous and more fundamental than I ever imagined. I’ve read back over my books one by one, and I’m amazed at what seeps through the pages.
And if you’ve read all this with me and see love as something negative and to be feared, then I guess I haven’t made my point. This post has been serious, yes. Because love is serious. It is important. It deserves a perspective that is not sugar coated with chocolate covered strawberries but exposed for the necessary hurt that it is.
I’ve said before, life’s only meaning is in the living of it. Meaning is motion, is change – another philosophy that smacked me in the face when looking back at the stories and worlds I’ve been inhabiting in this mad ol’ brain of mine. Love is motion, it is change. It transcends the self, and drives the world forward.
And it can save it.
If we choose pain. If we choose imperfection. If we choose to act. If we choose.
Rick Rawes Thursday 19th February, 2026 Leeds, West Yorkshire
A little overview of the intent of Rick Rawes stories – including the LGBT+ love stories at the heart of Avalon and Bastet
Proud Marys – a jukebox dramedy – is now available in eBook and Paperback on Amazon sites
LGBT+ History Month in the UK – and a call for everyone to sort themselves the hell out
Introduction
I’m gay. No, seriously, put down your cup of tea and at least pretend to be surprised, would you? It’s only polite. An indifferent shrug or a side-eye is hardly appropriate in this circumstance. Or laugh your head off, as a certain friend of mine like to remind me she did when I came out to her. Or scream, shout, disown, act like a moron. Whatever you fancy.
You see, it’s LGBT+ history month here in the UK and so for this post, I’m going to chat a little bit about a very present history and probably get a wee bit preachy. Then I’m going to talk a little about the inspiration behind some of my very LGBT+ characters, to give you a flavour of what you might like. Then I’m going to finish off with a celebration. Not quite the baton-swinging glittery dance party that is Pride, it’s a bit too brisk outside for rainbow hot-pants even with a few leg warmers.
Suffice to say, if you’ve switched off already, that’s okay. You do you. But if you fancy reading on, let’s pop off down that yellow brick and see what we find.
The ‘History’ Bit
Always strikes me a little this – given that our Pride season starts somewhere in early June and only really ends when the last of the pride flag makeup washes off sometime around the early Halloween costume buying – but February is LGBT+ history pride month. I could give you a long winded speech, perhaps about the dawn of the gays in early Ancient Egypt where eyeliner was more than just a lifestyle choice. Or perhaps discuss the Kings and Queens (and Queens) of England throughout the years, who’s bedchambers were an ever revolving door of individuals of all persuasions. Perhaps even mention famous figures like Alexander the Great (wonder where he got that nickname?). Or, perchance, to the old saying about the origin of drag (dressed as a girl of Shakespearean persuasion).
Like, seriously, where in history do you start? Even before we get into the animal kingdom, where homosexual behaviour has been demonstrated in roughly 1500+ species, and sex-changing characteristics are so numerous they haven’t even bothered to give it an estimation. Somewhere, sixty five million years in the making, two male T-Rexes would have bickered over whether Pterodonna’s Like a Prayer album made it to number 1 during quiz night, I’m sure. So, I guess I’m going to have to start somewhere in the middle.
Only, nah, it’s not as simple as that. There is no one history, as there is no one present. We can talk about the days in the UK, like when I was growing up in the 90s, where television representation for gay youth was limited to victims on Law & Order (most often tied to drugs or prostitution) or a predator (often enacting what we would deem sexual harassment these days) played for laughs. Gay was a descriptor, a slur, a word for something being downright shit. Bullying and harassment was routine, with a blind eye turned by the teachers – even regardless of whatever your actual sexual harassment was. And it was okay, because gays were still the fringe. Even the few gay programmes we actually got – Queer as Folk and Will & Grace spring to mind, still only showed one – often again played for laughs – kind of gay life.
But at least it wasn’t the sixties anymore, right? At least it wasn’t the days when people were being spat on during the early Pride marches – or being arrested by the police during raids on so called ‘gay bars’ – prompting situations such as that across the pond where a single errant brick from a drag queen started a whole movement. At least it wasn’t the fifties, where you could be imprisoned simply for being queer – or acting on your feelings. Or thrown into a lunatic asylum, forced to recount your sexual history with the same sex onto a tape and have it played back while injected with drugs to make you vomit repeatedly. This is not hyperbole – this is only a fraction of the kinds of sickness enacted.
Only here’s the catch, it’s yesterday. As of writing, 65 countries still criminalise homosexuality in one form or another. Of these, at least 6 UN members states still have the death penalty for ‘homosexual crimes’, with a further 3 permitting it in some further given contexts. This is the legally recognised establishment. This is their governments. In practice, the number of lynchings that will go unquestioned, the number of beatings given as ‘discipline’ for a queer child. The number of homeless teens, queer, trans, gay it doesn’t matter. The number of people refused medical treatment or care or support because of their identity. The number of people punished around the world for being naturally different, is giant chasm beneath this already staggeringly huge tip of the known iceberg.
And we are no different. ‘History’ is a swinging pendulum that’s coming right back round again. Things are not uniformly better for everyone in the UK. I was lucky, my friends and family were incredibly supportive, my experience of hate has been mainly of the verbal kind. This is not the case for everyone. Take a look at the Stonewall UK statistics sometime. You’ll see how many people, young, old, gay, bi, trans, lesbian, any part of the rainbow are more likely to experience hate crimes. Only one in eight people who experienced a hate crime related to their sexuality felt comfortable to report an incident and less than half felt they satisfied with the response by the police. This is recent.
Then, we see this government’s response (although most of the previous ones haven’t been any better). The powerful so-called ‘gender-critical’ movement is gaining traction in recent anti-trans policies (funded by some very well known and wealthy individuals who’s aggressive sneering is frankly getting on my tits). During the pandemic, the majority of gender-affirming surgeries were suspended indefinitely, because they were seen as ‘elective’ – essentially equating it to Sandra having a nose job. This is now.
I’m going to switch to lighter things in a minute because I’m getting angry, so I’ll get to the point. The point is that “LGBT+ History Month” is not a month of history. It’s a month of present. It’s a time to step back from this world and see it for what it is – a tapestry. There are some of us, the lucky ones, who make it through our days relatively unscathed. Perhaps we might receive a funny look holding hands, perhaps we might overhear someone elbowing their friend and calling them a slur just to look like the ‘hard man’. Or, like myself and my partner received recently, a drunken slob of a gentleman gesturing for us to go before them at a crossing in the street with a delightful ‘ladies first’.
And then there’s many who don’t make it to the end of the day. Too. Damn. Many.
It is NOT history. It is present. And it is not good enough.
Okay, so the rant is over – I’m going to turn to happier things. In short, if you’ve read the above you can probably already see my inspiration. I don’t write books to be preachy, not directly. I write stories about the kind of world I’d rather see. Yes, there’s dragons smashing stuff up around Manchester, and like magickal wars and stuff – but where it counts, it’s the way it should be.
With Heroes & Demons I decided to do an ensemble, but as soon as I started writing Dr Rick Carter all those years ago, I knew the leader of the team was going to be an out and proud homosexual. His core relationship, and the complexity of his love with a man refusing to accept his bisexuality was essentially a way for me to examine the two sides of myself at a time when I was still ‘in the closet’ – the one that was glad to be gay and the other that was afraid of what it meant for my place in the world. It was tense, close and not exactly heading for a happy ending. But it showed, I humbly like to think, a kind of raw and honest gay relationship that I needed to read about.
By the time I wrote Avalon I was far more confident to talk about the gay world and blend that identity and my experiences of it into the novel. I knew I wanted to tell a story about King Arthur and Dragons – but set in modern day Manchester. And after the darkness of Heroes & Demons, I wanted happy gays. So, there’s a gay pub with a basement bear bar. There’s the hot handsome magick user, Mat Merrick. There’s sweet romance, a beautiful love story, in the middle of the urban fantasy madness. And then, of course, there’s Linda Lake…who even now I’m still not sure how she identifies. She might be the Rawesian universe’s first pansexual character, though I think even that falls short. Omnisexual, maybe?
The point of Avalon was to bring joy into a space where, in all my own reading I’d mainly come across heteronormative stories. The point was not take away from them, but to add an alternative perspective, a different and incredibly normalised voice. A story that was shaped by being gay but was not about being gay.
The journey is not over. As an author I love to try and experience new stories of all kinds, and so when I finally cracked the story for Bastet, I realised I had an opportunity to explore a different relationship, another step of the rainbow. I don’t know whether Bastet or Linda would necessarily define themselves as lesbian, as mentioned Linda may have had more wide-spread relationships than even the crude jokes she makes would imply – and so far, Bastet’s great love was her. I don’t necessarily think it’s important to even answer the question of their identity. Because, once again, the story is of love between two women but is it not about the love between two women.
I will keep pushing my own boundaries and exploring all kinds of characters in my work. I am already working towards introducing my first non-binary character (and an epic multi-book villain to boot), while exploring where may feel right to represent other realms of the big progressive rainbow of which I’m proud to belong. Again, every story I tell – whether a horror, a comedy, a fantasy or science fiction – I will always start with story and character first. Sometimes a character’s sexuality, their gender or their identity will shape how they interact with the world, but it will not shape their world. Because that’s the world I wish we had.
I wish we had a world in which there is no ‘bury your gays’ trope. Where the complexities of heroes and villains are just as nuanced, regardless of who someone chooses to love. Where someone’s first thought is ‘bloody hell, that was a great story’ rather than ‘that was quite good for a gay horror’.
Until the rest of the world catches up with the idea that we are all equal; that were are each of us accidents of stardust that have no more or less right to exist than anyone else, I’ll carry on. Until everyone realises that, and lets go of their ego, their prejudices, their hate or their indifference. Until then, I’ll write that world instead.
How I’m Celebrating
After all that, I will forewarn there is a shameless plug coming. After all, I’m an author, I sell books (well, that’s the theory anyway). If you’re already good, then stop here – nip back up to the top if you like and read the preachy bit again, or the behind the scenes peek from the section before. But if you don’t mind a bit of self-promotion, read on.
To celebrate – or should be commemorate – what should really be called LGBT Present Month, I’ve finally spruced up the odd duck of the Rick Rawes books – Proud Marys. Initially conceived as a jukebox musical to the tunes of Tina Turner, it soon became an idea for a full blown British comedy-drama following the lives of three young(ish) gay men in Manchester across a whole year. It was part Ruthless People, part Rent, part Full Monty. From funerals to brawls and drag bars to high-rise apartments, the intertwining stories of David, Juan and Robin were some of the most fun – and personally most illuminating – stories I’ve ever written.
Now I’ve managed to bring it back to life once more. Fully refreshed, with a brand new paperback edition to accompany the eBook that’s been available for some time now. A new cover, designed by yours truly (be kind) which is as unashamedly queer as the content. While not gratuitous, it’s not for the faint of heart. Take the narrator – a wise-cracking drag queen sipping whiskeys (and likely growing increasingly drunk) in a smoky bar on a quiet evening. Please, she says it’s been a while.
If you fancy giving it a go – even if just to give a break from the spooks and dragons and magick users – then you can read more about it on the Rest of the Rainbow section of the site or pick up the eBook or Paperback from Amazon in multiple marketplaces now.
And as always, if you like it, give us a review on Amazon or Goodreads, or even pop onto the Facebook or the Instagram and give us a follow. I’d love to hear from you. Comment here, there, down below – wherever you fancy.
And Now for My Final Thought
I’m not sorry for the angry tone of the first bit. I’ll be really honest with you, I’m a bit pissed off with the state of the world right now. We’ve clawed and fought and marched our way out of the days where we had to be afraid. Now, for the sake of a few political points, or to preserve our middle-class house prices, or whatever stupid reason we justify to ourselves, we’re sliding right back into the mud – right where others have been drowning for centuries. And where sixty five places in the world are treading water at the moment.
So, grab the people next to you and drag each other back into the light.
There are many who are already lost. Too. Damn. Many.
It is not history. It is present. And it is not good enough.
Rick Rawes Leeds, West Yorkshire 3rd February 2026
Genuinely a quick one from me today! I know, imagine that.
The next chapter of ’til the End of the World is out today, and things are getting darker in Calendar. After the storm, the group find themselves scattered – kidnapped, unconscious, or desperately searching for answers. As an ancient obelisk is found deep in the Earth, a vampyr queen makes her move, pulling the six deeper into a conflict they never asked for.
This story pushes the mystery wider, cracking open new secrets, and setting the stage for everything still to come. If you enjoyed Part 1 (still available to catch up), this is where the story really starts to bite.
Story 2 is available to read now. Dive in and let me know what you think!
‘til the End of the World is my new young adult supernatural series – an episodic collection of short stories set in Lancashire in 2005. If you love British YA fantasy, Buffy-style monster-of-the-week adventures, or nostalgic coming-of-age stories with a dark twist, this is the ensemble series for you.
You can skip the pre-amble if you want to avoid mild spoilers (or just want to cut to the chase) and pick up the first story on our dedicated‘til the End of the Worldpage. It will be available initially in PDF format, though I’m currently working on ePub versions for e-readers to follow. Below is the quick highlights, but if you fancy a bit of mildly-spoiler-ish pre-amble and backstory, read on beyond.
Quick Highlights
An ‘episodic’ series of short stories, one published per month
A ‘young adult’ supernatural series set in Lancashire circa 2005
Year One comprising of twenty-two short stories subtitled ‘Blood Ties’ begins today
Story one available in PDF today (ePub to follow)
Story two (second half of the ‘pilot’) available next Friday (30th January)
The Mildly Spoiler-ish Pre-Amble and Backstory
Photo by Rick Rawes
‘Til the End of the World, what by todays standards would be deemed a Young Adult Supernatural series, truly is the beginning of writing for me. Picture this, a somewhat awkward pre-teen, nose deep in a book on the primary school playground, or in the back of a car on the way to the latest family Scottish getaway. Or in a million other places. Those stories? Perhaps the mildly bonkers Animorphs (KA Applegate) or the incredibly underrated Spooksville (Christopher Pike). In these shorter, easily digestible tales, kids like me faced down vampyrs, demons and the forces of darkness (or alien slugs, but bear with).
Then puberty hits with all it’s hormonal, incredibly foul-mouthed, confusing chaos. So comes along your Buffy, your Smallville, your Vampire Diaries. Suddenly, as you’re dealing with the routine apocalypses (or is it apocalypi?) of your day-to-day teen drama, you see stories of people dealing with all that normal stuff – with like, vampyrs and stuff. Again, week by week, shorter snappy tales take us to prom with hellhounds, to football practice with pyrokinetics, to the end of innocence while being pursued by not one, but two, ‘handsome’ young vampyrs (or like incredibly old vampyrs, to be fair).
That’s the era in which ‘til the End of the World was initially conceived. A world of Linkin Park and Avril Lavigne. A world where moving from childhood to adulthood was drenched in the romantic, dark, twisted, horror filled world of teen angst. And demons. Where if the apocalypse came, one could just be beeped.
It was my way of getting into writing, taking the concepts I was seeing around and applying them more closely to my life. To my circumstances. To my challenges. And while there’s a deep, deep love of the DNA of shows like Buffy within ‘til the End of the World (the title itself comes from a Spike quote*), hopefully you’ll be able to feel unique flavour and Britishness of the era that flows through the series.
I use to write episode after episode of the series, plotting out entire seasons and mini-arcs and following the characters through their adolescence into adulthood. I explored monsters and themes and stories that interested me as a teen. Some friends read it, some didn’t, but mostly it was me in my room creating a world that was adjacent to, but in some ways far more safe and fantastical than, my own. Then I forgot about it, time moved on. It was shelved amongst my folders of old notes and files and never returned to. It was around then I tried to ‘grow up’ with what eventually became Heroes & Demons.
It was during the writing of the second book of that series and my fifth overall, Hope & Fury, that I actually found a place to include Miss Drake (and by extension a minor reference to the major ‘til the End of the World character Amy). It was a little easter egg or cameo, really only for my own benefit. But then, as I was conceiving the sequel to Avalon, I saw the perfect opportunity to bring in the world of Magickal, and it’s thirty-something director, the jaffa-cake obsessed Amy Donaldson.
That began the spark, the nugget of an idea. Perhaps, just maybe, there was a different way to regress and tell her back story. A way for her to reflect, me to try a different genre, and the dust-gathered tales of Amy and her childhood friends to finally get their time in the sunlight…
* Season 5 Episode 22 “The Gift” – 100th episode, one of the finest episodes of television ever made…in my humble opinion…
So What’s it Actually About?
Last chance to turn back before minor spoilers – or you can skip down to the next heading for the practicals!
‘til the End of the World is set in the small Lancashire town of Calendar, nestled amongst the valleys and hills of this part of the world. A world in which the surrounding nature – farmer’s fields, deep forests, rolling slopes and valleys – meets the human world.
New high streets adorned with a Café Nero and boutique shops, sitting next to greasy takeaways and cobbled ginnels. Old cotton mills half filled with small local businesses, with the bypass bringing an industrial area of cold grey steel warehouses. Kids walking to the one local high school under green oak trees. Stone terraced back-to-backs just down the road from that new build estate. A real, breathing Lancashire town, far away from the city streets of my usual Manchester settings, but one that still holds the fate of the world in it’s hands.
Beginning in September 2005, the story follows six teenagers as they navigate their final year of high school – GCSEs, romantic entanglements, PE kits and a massively unprofessional head teacher. Ricky Kent and Mark Matthews alone know what is happening out on the dark streets of Calendar – supernatural threats that stalk the shadows. For Ricky, his prophetic dreams of fire, ash and blood, and newfound strength lead him to question his destiny, while Mark faces down the secrets of his family – and their links to a mystery known as the Covenant.
Meanwhile, their blissfully unaware friends – kind hearted every girl Sara Carpenter, sweetly geeky Amy Donaldson, unusually sensitive jock Luke Cross, and queen bee Sam Summers, begin to circle the truth of their hometown – and one by one are drawn into the ancient battle to follow.
The first story, Stand By Me – Part 1, follows a typical pilot format – introducing us to this world, this setting and these characters. Vampyrs, vicious and definitely not sexy, have begun to creep into the darkness of Calendar’s ecosystem; drawing Ricky, Mark and their friends into the beginning of a war that will ultimately decide their fates, the fates of those they love, and perhaps even the world along with it.
‘til the End of the WorldYear 1: Blood Ties, starts today with the first story drop. The format will mimic the episodic storytelling of my youth, in that each year will cover roughly one academic year in the life of Ricky and his friends, over the course of twenty-two story drops. The first, Stand By Me – Part 1, is available today for free – over on the ‘til the End of the World page; while the second part of the ‘pilot’, Stand By Me – Part 2, will be released next Friday. Following this, each month a new episode will drop, again available on the same page with a little fanfare.
Each story will follow the same episodic format – an opening, followed by four ‘acts’, each of them split into smaller scenes that drive the story forward. Their length will vary – this first one is over 100 pages and is really more of a short-novella (but is doing much of the set up work), though later ones will be shorter. Some will tie to an over-arching year long plot, others will be your typical monster-of-the-week stories, which can be easily dipped into and out of.
Why follow this format? Well, I suppose this is the Tv series I’d always wished was around when I was growing up, and thanks to doing it this way there’s certainly no budget or network issues. An actor is never going to decide they need to find themselves or do movies and leave a storyline hanging.
If you’re like me, and enjoy a good actual book book though, you’ll be pleased to know I’ll be collecting stories into volumes of roughly five to six stories at a time. These will be released after their respective episodes are dropped onto the website and will be collections available in eBook and Paperback for pretty much cost price. Thrown in for some good measure with some bonus features, behind the scenes essays and other goodies to thank you, the reader.
Photo by Rick Rawes
Thank You (as Dido Says)
So that’s it, launched and away! I hope you enjoy reading about these adventures as much as I have enjoyed writing them. They helped me through my formative years, and being able to bring them back, polish them off and make them shine once more feels like a form of self-indulgent therapy. But sometimes you have to do that. Sometimes you have to take the past, dust off the old scars and recognise it for what it was. Painful, messy, funny, and deeply human. A place of darkness and hurt, whether emotional or supernatural, in the midst of which you are forged. A place in which you learn to hope and love and survive. That’s the heart of these stories, and I look forward to continuing to share them with you.
Read the first episode of ‘til the End of the World for free – available now in PDF, with ePub coming soon. If you’d like to keep up to date with all the latest goings on, please do subscribe to the site, or bookmark us. You can find me through socials on Facebook and Instagram, so please drop a like, follow or even just a lil’ howdy wave.
On a rain-soaked morning in West Yorkshire, this grown-up child wants to tell you about a rain-soaked night in Lancashire, some twenty odd years ago.
And so it begins…
Peace & Love y’all Rick Rawes 23rd January, 2026 Leeds, West Yorkshire
Blog post resuming every-other-week from Friday 23rd January
‘til the End of the World first two short story drops on first post, Friday 23rd January
Sinners & Saints, book 4 of Heroes & Demons releasing Friday 3rd July, 2026
Echo, the last New Knights solo novel releasing October 2026
Introduction
So the new year is upon us (or currently scrambling back to the safety of the side of the road in our rearview mirror) and here we are with an opportunity for a brand new start. This time of year is also the perfect time for reflection, as the quieter winter months allow us to huddle round in the warmth and light of our homes, telling each other stories of better days to keep away the gloom. Dickensian, yes. For those of you want a quick recap you can see the highlights above, but for anyone who wants a little more of a wandering tale, get yourself a brew, sit by the firelight and come with me for a little peek out into the gloom – and to the worlds beyond it.
Well my reflection begins here – why do I write? To answer that question, I need to go to an even more fundamental human question – what is the meaning of life? No, no, bear with. I’m not being dramatic (okay, maybe a little dramatic) or pretentious (okay, maybe a little pretentious). To understand why I write comes back to some of the things I was going to discuss in a December blog post on the spiritual and cosmological viewpoint of my books.
A common thread through many of the stories is that of agency, of control and free will. The universe may have plans, it may be alive, it may not be. There may be a God or deity beyond time and space that has seen it all happen with a wry knowing grin. There may not. You could go into the Beyond and simply see a sign saying ‘Welcome to Level 2’. Who knows?
But that is the point. Who knows? Who can know? And therefore, if the meaning of life eludes us, then it is the same as it having no meaning. Nothing inherent in our ego makes it significant in a universe 13 billion times older and stranger than each of us. In the end the only meaning our lives have is that they exist. They exist because they do, because they are. The only meaning of life is that we live it, we move, we grow, we change. We do anything to avoid being stagnant. To give life it’s meaning by doing something with it, to honour it. That’s why I write.
You might say that it boils down to a really fancy shmancy way of saying I write to have something to do. It goes a little beyond that, but that’s essentially true in a manner of speaking. I write because it is something I that gives me great pleasure to do so. I write sometimes to make a world and a universe that makes sense to me, with ideas and thoughts which show the best and worst of ourselves. I write to be in motion, to be shaping and changing a world at the tips of my fingers. In a world where I have little control, where things like cancer, psychotic world leaders, microscopic viruses and neo-Nazi thugs give little shit about me and my family, writing is a way to control a world. To know how it ends.
God, that’s a heck of a psychological truth isn’t it? Writing is a form of narcissism. A kind of God-like puppet mastery, an almost Freudian defence mechanism. But it’s also something to share. It’s a communication. Since the days of people sat around a campfire telling tales about the sun and the moon falling in love, we’ve told each other stories. They’re how we make the world make sense. So, even if it is a brain trying to impose order on a chaotic world, it’s nothing new – nor do I believe is it anything bad. It’s a pleasure, a pastime, a tradition. It’s waking up and saying to someone, come with me for a little while and see this world that’s safer than this one, that’s contained with pages and unbound in your imagination – and can take you away from the darkness around you. It is the campfire, the warmth and the camaraderie. And in that there is meaning.
I struggle with people, I’ll freely admit, and I’m okay with that. It’s probably one of the reasons I find the social media and marketing side of independent publishing so incredibly daunting. Reach out, communicate, interact. Historically that hasn’t gone so well. And yet…that’s exactly what I am doing. By writing, by sharing. And when people read, when people enjoy, and when they share that enjoyment, it gives me joy. And that is why I write. I may not be able to garner a million followers by understanding how to arrange my hashtags or put together a TikTok promotional advert. I may not be able to change the ills of the world. But I can sit by that campfire, I can tell you a story, and I can keep the darkness at bay for that little bit of a while.
And with that in mind, here’s what I’m building this year.
First off, there is a regular schedule for the next six months of blog posts, covering a whole range of topics and themes. These will drop on Fridays – roughly one every two weeks. The next will be on Friday 23rd January, 2026, and will focus on the launch of ‘til the End of the World.
Speaking of ‘til the End of the World, this young-adult skewed supernatural series, a throwback to the days of Buffy, Vampire Diaries and Skins, is launching on Friday 23rd January, 2026 with a double bill. The two short-stories comprising an opening ‘two-partner’ entitled Stand By Me – Part 1 and Stand By Me – Part 2 will be available for free from that date. You can download them in PDF form, or EPUB depending on your preferred reader. These short stories will form an ongoing episodic series, set around the autumn of 2005, and will show a corner of the Rawesian universe that hasn’t really been seen before.
Coming in the first few months of the year, Avalon, Avalon: Faerie Tales and Proud Marys will be brought back in paperback form, with fresh new covers and ready to be added to the shelf. This will mean for the first time in several years, all Rick Rawes novels will be available in both eBook and Print. Similarly, I’ll be exploring ways to deliver eBooks and Paperbacks directly through this site, as well as in other online marketplaces.
The two major upcoming releases this year will have several teases throughout the next few months, with plenty of surprises and reveals along the way. Sinners & Saints, the fourth and penultimate story of the Heroes & Demons series, will soon be available to pre-order, with a release date of Friday 3rd July, 2026. Echo, the final standalone novel in the New Knights Saga, will also have more details revealed as we go further, releasing in October 2026.
Thanks for Listening
There you go, that’s my update, my reflection. That’s where I’m at right now, and where things are going. Along the way you can help. If you’ve read something, please rate or review – either through their respective pages on Amazon or on Goodreads. It does help me to know not only has someone enjoyed themselves, but really does help others consider reading them. Share perhaps with your friends, or make a recommendation to fellow readers. That is far more priceless and valuable than my clumsy attempts at advertising.
If there’s something you like the sound of – have a look at the pages for the Heroes & Demons Series, the New Knights Saga or the Rest of the Rainbow and see if there’s anything else that takes your fancy. Give us a follow or a like on Instagram (@RickRawesHD) or Facebook (Rick Rawes Author), and if you do pop along, say hi. Let me know you’re there, let me know your own story.
Let me know if you want to sit by the fire with me for a bit. And maybe tell me if you’d like to hear a story.
In that, there is meaning.
Rick Rawes 16th January, 2026 Leeds, West Yorkshire
Rick Rawes 